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You know the problem with having a buddha belly? Sunscreen. That stuff is expennnnnnnsive man! Sure, for normal people, it’s such a small cost they don’t even think about it. But when you’ve got the big round belly of The Bearded Man, it takes a whole bottle just to cover the damn thing! It’s ridiculous! And it’s not like he’s only in the sun occasionally. Oh no. He’s out there year round, even in the winter. His accountant said that the reason he’s in so much debt is due to the fact that his sunblock bills are greater than the GDP of many small countries. Still, he’s gotta stay safe right? In these tragic, dark times, The Bearded Man takes comfort in only one thing: at least his epic beard means he doesn’t have to block up his face. That’s about it.